New Year, New You
Every year on New Year’s Day, my spiritual teacher delivers a message to live by throughout the coming year. The 365 days ahead of us are an amazing gift given to use any way we want. She suggests that we use them to the utmost – making the most of these precious 12 months with much love and gratitude for the opportunity presented.
But how do we use these days to the utmost? There is a tremendous surge of energy for positive growth and change that presents itself at midnight on December 31. The question is, how will we utilize this energy? Of course, everyone has their respective “resolutions”. However, do we really need to lose weight or exercise more, or might we engage in a deeper, more meaningful relationship that creates true and lasting renewal and rejuvenation?
The best way to create a “new you” for the New Year is to make a commitment to being present in the moment as much as possible. This sounds like a simple resolution but is actually very profound. There are numerous distractions in everyday life that block our ability to be here, now. One of the most prevalent detractors from being present is unresolved anger. When we are angry, we are very simply not present. It is virtually impossible to do both. Generally, when we respond to a situation with anger it is because an unresolved event from the past is triggered on a subconscious level. We think that we are angry about something that’s happening in the now, yet this is rarely the case.
If we are thinking about losing weight or exercising more, it might be more beneficial for us to look at the underlying, subconscious core beliefs and negative thought patterns. Unresolved negative emotions, especially anger, usually lie at the root of overeating and inertia. In the Ayurvedic Chakra System, the Fire Chakra is associated with anger, inertia and overeating. Not coincidentally, it is also the chakra of commitment and action which handles issues of empowerment, control and self-esteem, governing a number of very important organs such as the liver, gall bladder, kidneys, pancreas and stomach. When imbalanced, it is difficult to keep and follow through with commitments.
Remember that it’s OK to be angry. Everyone is. Many of us have encountered harmful individuals in our lives and we fear our own anger because this may mean that we too are mean and aggressive. Many times our family systems teach us that anger in any form is unacceptable. Therefore, anger is out of the question. Generally, there are two main behavioral manifestations of anger: one is aggression and the other is denial and suppression. If we suppress our anger because we don’t want to be mean and aggressive, we generally turn it inward upon ourselves. Many times we accomplish this by literally “stuffing” our anger with food and other substances such as alcohol or cigarettes which leads to disempowerment and lack of self-esteem.
The foundation of a coherent relationship is expressing our feelings and stating our needs. For this New Year’s, commit to engaging in the possibility of re-working relationships. Most of us never had our needs met as children so it never occurs to us to just ask for what we need. Many times we think if we express the fact that we are feeling angry it will make the situation worse. In fact, just the opposite occurs. When we express that we are feeling anger by simply stating the case in a non-combative manner, the charge associated with the emotion simply dissipates. And, as if by magic we are transported back into the present moment. If the prospect of engaging in this type of communication seems impossible or overwhelming, make a commitment to work on it.
This New Year’s, make it your mantra to go deeper; renew and rejuvenate by uncovering the reasons why we aren’t able to keep a resolution. Let’s resolve to live in the present moment and to deal with whatever keeps us from accomplishing this on a daily basis. May this bright, shiny New Year bring lots of love, light, healing and blessings.
STORY: Mary Schneider